It's a Superior Monday!

It's a superior Monday for several reasons. Firstly, it's Memorial Day, which means I don't have to work. Secondly, it's a great holiday for food. Lots of grilling going on today. Dogs, burgers, steaks, you name it. You know what goes great with steak? This radar.

Get it?

Get it now? Great! Now that we're on the same page, I want to... oh, wait, there's another one.

Mkay. I wanted to.... dammit, another one!

Okay, are we done with the lobsters, mother nature?

.....Okay, great!

Anyway, I wanted to point out something interesting about Lake Superior. You may have noticed lobster #2 looking a little concerned and/or intimidated. That's because he (and I) realized today what Lake Superior looks like. It looks like a disembodied shark's head with a smug face. Eat your heart out, Alanis, because I submit to you that Lake Superior looking like a shark with a superiority complex takes the irony cake.

Get over yourself, Superior Shark. Just for that, lobster #2 gets a wizard hat.

Happy Memorial Day, everyone!



I survived our mega stormpacolypse the other day with zero injuries to life or property! Btown did get hit by a small tornado, but it was the other side of town, and luckily, no one was killed. It was still very scary, though. All this horrible junk was moving towards us, and everyone was all, "HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFE, AND TAKE COVER!!!" And I was all,

Btw, you may recall from a previous post that I was considering getting a kitten. That's him. His name is Mr. Biffles, and he has seven fingers on each front paw. Do you ever see a lion on tv and think "OMG, I want to hold it's huge paws and just squeeeesh the hell out of them!"? Yeah. That's basically what happens to Mr. Biffles on a daily basis.

Speaking of kittens, it's Caturday! And it looks like the radar has taken notice of this as well. 

However, little feller, while cute....

CUTE. Trust me on this one. NO match for the basket of wtfadorable which is Mr. Biffles.

Mr. Biffles > everything.


Scurry Weather UPDATE

In addition to earlier's post, I'd just like to mention that I actually have no idea where or how this is going to hit us. This doesn't look like it's barreling down to steal our souls:

Apparently, it's something that is going to manifest suddenly, which is pretty terrifying. Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll be friendly....


Scurry Weather

I've decided posting every day is a little unrealistic. I'm going to shoot for 3 or 4 times a week. If that's not good enough for you, Little Lord Fauntleroy, then there's the door.

Just kidding. Please don't leave. I need you.

Anywhoser, there has been some really scary weather lately. :c They are predicting a severe outbreak for our area as well. This is the first wave, and a second, more severe one will be hitting this evening.

WHY does this have to look so friggin' terrifying?? As if the images from the news weren't scary enough, the storm itself has to look like some huge-ass devil bird shooting lasers out of its eyes, getting ready to devour the poor, little worm that is Bloomington.

And we're all,

And he's all,

Everyone stay safe tonight!


BRB - Kitten apocalypse

Oh, hai!

Sorry for yesterday's absence. What with the impending doomsday tonight at 6:00pm, and the fact that kittens have been laying eggs in my soul for the past 24 hours, I've been a little distracted.

I assume that second one needs a little explanation.

A co-worker has two kittens available for adoption. One of them has seven fingers on its front paws. That, in itself, should be all the explanation one might require, but just in case you're not convinced that these kittens are forcing me to make a painful and adorable decision, here's a picture:

That amazing one on the right, giving you the thumbs-up, is (obviously) the one with the extra phalanges. He should only have six, which leads me to believe he stole his brother's thumbs (left) as he should also have six, but only has five.

I wish I could hire someone to just make all of life's decisions for me. It's one of those occasions where even making a tried-and-true Pros/Cons list doesn't help me come to a decision.

Yeah, this didn't help at all.

Anyway, these two heart-breakers keep getting more wide-eyed every time I look at their pictures. Which means it's time for me to step away from the computer again and mull this over some more. Not that this will help, really. They are embedded in my brain. I even had dreams about them. O_O Someone tell me what to do!

Actually, that won't help either. I've had lots of people tell me what to do on this one, and each time it ends the same way: me, back in front of the computer screen, holding a stuffed animal and sighing longingly as I eye them back and fourth.

Damn you, kitten apocalypse!



Oh, look! She's back! Two things have become obvious to me about this weather anchor.

Number one, she can't seem to keep herself out of harm's way.

'Cuz there's a wolf.

...Yes, it is too a wolf!


Anyway, the second thing I noticed about her, based on this screenshot: She missed her calling as a rapper.

Look at that gangsta pose!


Our (last?) Daily Thread: Crapture!


It's-a Me!


Actually, it's not Mario. Clearly.

It is, however, his bestest dinosaur pal! That's equally obvious, right?


Damn straight!

And now, I really wish I could be at home playing video games all day. *longing sigh*


Something a little different

I'm still recovering from a four-day weekend, and the weather has been a little boring lately. So no weather monsters today. Here's an anecdote instead.

I work in a mail room, which is kind of like being a celebrity. Except instead of making movies, I make Excel spread sheets, and instead of bling, I have paper cuts, and instead of fan mail, I receive frustrating and ridiculous tomfoolery stuffed into envelopes. I would probably call it fartmail if I were immature and a big fan of acronyms. Which I am. So I will.

Among today's fartmail was a frustratingly-hard-to-separate group of papers which had been unnecessarily stapled together.

Let me clarify - one staple would have been fine.

But what I received defied all logic. I would count the staples this person used, but my eye just stopped twitching, and frankly, I'd rather take several staples to the aforementioned eye than to look at that pile of WTF again. Here's a reenactment of it for you :

Please note that the circled staple is not actually serving any purpose at all, and sadly, isn't much of an exaggeration from some of what came stuck on the letter. Maybe if I squint harder, I can figure out why the hell something like this is necessary.

I saw that one coming.

What aggravates me as much as having to ruin a pair of scissors and utilize two separate staple-removers to get all of the staples out, is the fact that someone stepped back after compiling their information, saw that mess, and thought to themselves,

..when any normal person (myself included) would have been all:

The punch line of all of this? In the cover letter of this mindless monstrosity, the sender asked the recipient to send them honest input and criticism at their earliest convenience. I assume this request was in regards to the content, not assembling, of the letter. However, it took every ounce of restraint to not respond on the recipient's behalf.

Dear ______,

Per your request for honest feedback, I'd like to recommend that you either learn to use, or refrain from using, your stapler. Please comply, or I will be forced to take it away from you. Sending this many unnecessary staples in a single document, then asking for feedback on said document, is comparable to having one's car totaled by a semi-truck with a "Tell me how I'm doing!" sticker on the back. 


Everyone you've ever written to.

Gotta love Mondays.


Slow & Steady

That's how I'm running today. I'm in good company, though:

LOOK HARDER! I know you see him. You have to.

Just in case...

It's a turtle!

...what do you mean, "that's boring and shitty?" Who do you think you are, Wikipedia?

Fine. I'll make him more relatable:

We're all equals now. Have a great weekend!

By the way - I'm out of town this weekend, so I will not be posting Saturday or Sunday. Sorry 'boutcha, and I'll catch up with you on Monday!


Raining dogs & dogs

Oooh, look at Mister Pink Tie... thinking he knows what will happen Sunday night.

I bet he couldn't see this coming though:

It's even wearing a kerchief!

Kerchiefs for everyone!




This fine, sunny Wednesday just happens to be my Friday. With a four day weekend approaching, I thought that today couldn't feel any more magical or wondrous. But then I saw this:

Too appropriate, right? If your answer to that was anything other than "YES OMG GLITTER," then I question your level of creativity. Because this is clearly a unicorn dancing with a flamingo.

Throw in some clouds and a beautiful rainbow, and we create the perfect storm! (I intended the hell out of that pun.)

Friday: The poor man's Wednesday!