Sometimes, I feel sorry for my little blog, here. We started off so hopeful and energetic and eager to please the masses.
But, as life has a tendency to do, my ambitions became stifled over time with real-world business, obligations, illnesses, and all the other lovely things that make up life. And thus, my blog began accumulating cobwebs in the corner, crying out for love and attention, and adding to that ever-lengthening list of shit I'd rather be doing, and never have time or energy to actually do.
Everyone has their own burdens and issues, and I try to remind myself often that mine pale in comparison to so many. And for that reason, I did not (and do not, and will not ever) want my blog to become one of those poor-me, self-indulgent venues.
All of that said, however, it's hard to flip that switch. It's hard to want to sit down and be creative when one's mind is bogged down. And I feel like mine's been bogged down for a long time.
I have so many half-finished, half-written, half-illustrated, or otherwise half-assed posts that I've never published here. My creativity and brain in general feel like an ultra-tightly-tangled ball of yarn. Every once in a while, I'll find the end, start pulling, and get excited when I make a little headway. But an inch or two in (giggity,) it stops unraveling easily, and the string I thought might actually pull free with ease disappears into an indecipherable knot. Whatever it was that used to motivate me to keep unraveling it no longer finds me easily, assuming it does at all. It's very frustrating.
"Oh, just do it, you crybaby pussface," you may be thinking to yourself. It never ceases to amaze me that people think it's that simple for everyone. How is it that we can believe stupid cliches, like "Each snowflake is unique" or "No two Doritos have the same amount of seasoning," (mmm, Doritos...) and yet, when it comes to the inner workings of our brains - the most intricate, fascinating, mysterious, unique, indecipherable little fuckers on the planet - suddenly, everyone has the exact same ability to carry on as everyone else?
Spoiler alert: We don't. And I need to learn to stop beating myself up for it.
I don't have an endgame for this post, and there's no particular point I'm trying to make, really. But I wanted to throw this all out there. It's probably more for my own benefit than anything.
Maybe I'll be back soon, maybe not. Either way... I'm sorry for abandoning you for so long, Meteoroflgy. I'll try to do better. *hugs computer screen*
I'll try to do better.