"Fun" with Comcast

I had a lot of compliments on my Fun with Mormons post. I actually had a few people ask me if this legitimately happened, to which my response would be "...You've met me, haven't you?"

For those of you who haven't met me, that translates as "Of course it happened."

I interact with strangers like this on a regular basis. Pretty much any time I interact with a stranger, actually. It makes me laugh, it makes them laugh, and it makes you laugh. That's what Charlie Sheen would refer to as Tri-Winning.

Sometimes, the joke's on me, because a) someone is too boring to have a sense of humor, b) someone is too stupid to have a sense of humor, c) someone is too stupid to do their job, or d) all of the above. Like this lady:

Seemingly innocent. Granted, in my line of work, "escalating" a situation usually means someone's being irate and thusly transferred to someone who gets paid enough to deal with their bullshit, but I assume that this is just more outsourced, broken English and wait patiently.

I get a little less patient after five minutes though, re-reading that last, italicized line with increasing suspicion.

It's been too long now.

I assume the worst.

And then, my assumption is validated by this:

I wait

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Oh, Comcast, you silly motherfuckers!

Fear not though, I did eventually find my way to a competent customer service rep, who was able to assist me. We even bonded a little at the end there when the Comcast rep got into the spirit and declared us FOREVER FRIENSDS!

So yeah, long story short - I talk this way to everyone. All I do is edit out the more boring parts. It's hard enough to exude all this crazy from one personality, let alone trying to cater said personality to the needs of perfect strangers. Why do it? I'm paying their company. I call the shots here.

Try it. It's liberating.

...hur, hur.... Moronism.



trashamex said...


A Place to be Me said...

I LUV these!

A Hoser among Hoosiers said...

These interactions ftw! I too have spoken thusly with people and made grandiosly incorrect statements just to see their reaction.

My favourite high-lights of this interaction:

"We are happy that you're inquiring about DOWNgrading your service"... really? That makes them happy?

Then Lidzilla called you Amabda... Amabda the Nomad!!

"You are a wonderful and kind customer..." you're A Wonderkind!

Then she said, "Be safe... always!" Like, "The Force of being Safe will be with you... always!"

More of these, please. :D

Audrey said...

Have I ever told you how much I miss your humor???

stupid mermaid said...

I love this more every time I read it. Good job, Amabda.