Dentistry and Craigslist

I has a sad, my special snowflakes. :c

I've been having terrible, blinding, constant headaches for a couple weeks solid. Somehow, I went quite a while without connecting this to the gnawing pains I often have in my jaw/mouth/facehole region. Then one day, it hit me.

That's right, friends. A dreaded wisdom tooth.

So... I will be getting that extracted tomorrow morning at 9:00am. I am less than thrilled.

Don't get me wrong - I realize I will feel better. And I'll be happy to eventually not be in pain. But I am not looking forward to the disgusting recovery process. And frankly - I'm ready to just feel good again. I've been sick with bronchitis, and strep throat, and bronchitis, and fucking bronchitis, and this and that for months, and this is the fancy glass topper on my 3-layered shitcake. Walking around feeling less than my best for this long has turned me into a veritable rage volcano, one sore throat away from destroying all of your fucking villages.

My anger, self-pity and nerves regarding my stupid oral stupid tooth fuckface extraction fuckfuckfuckaofasdfjkl;;kljpoijuhaoii tomorrow were pretty prominent today. To cope with these emotions, I did what any self-respecting adult would do. I decided to troll Craigslist for a bit.

I didn't have to look far to find the perfect candidate for some internet lovin'.

Apparently, in Indiana, "stole my hat" actually equals "I'm an irresponsible hat owner."

Chances are, if you've read my blog for any length of time, we're brain-compatible enough for me to not have to list all of the things wrong with this dude's post.

Typically, I do not stoop to anyone's level and make genuine comments or jokes about chronic illnesses like cancer. I know it's not funny, and I know most of us, myself included, have been affected by it. But I really wanted to get this dude's attention. It was a 50/50 shot in my mind, as to whether or not he'd buy it.

Upon submitting this post, I didn't really expect any reply, other than for him to call my bluff and wish for me to get rickets or some shit. So you can imagine my surprise when - not even to Craigslist, but to my actual CL email inbox- I received a reply!

Well, this doesn't fit in the margins at all, does it?

I should have just been proud of him for backing down, being (somewhat) humble, and being willing to apologize. But you forget - I'm a fucking rage volcano today. (Not to mention, I didn't actually have this dude's hat.) So I replied on CL, letting him know I didn't have his hat, and posted a lovely trollface for him as a parting gift.

Apparently, this was amusing to other people on Craigslist, as others began to post their own replies to him, claiming to have his hat. The nerve! That was my idea. :c

Not to be outdone...

The picture, enlarged for you:

Swiper, no swiping! Also, get out of the middle of Jordan Street!

So that's how I spent my afternoon... trolling Craigslist, like an asshole grade school kid with too much internets and not enough hugs or discipline. I'm a little ashamed... but mostly, I'm a fucking volcano. I think I mentioned that.

Anyway, wish me luck in my adventures in voluntary toothslaughter tomorrow morning. : \

Oh, and sorry about the pictures being all crazy and not really fitting nice and neatly into the allotted space. I'm too impatient to fix it.



Anonymous said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE! I hope that poor guy finds his hat. I'm sure the PacSun or Hot Topic don't have any more in that style.

lily said...

Wishing you luck with your "stupid oral stupid fuckface extraction..."

Not that you'll need it, i'm sure. :)

erin said...

I hope your teeth day goes well today! I am happy that you will no longer be in pain. And you can eat ice cream all day. :)

I loooooooove this Jon E. post. I hope you continue in this direction!