What the... no. No! NO!!!!

Don't let the title scare you. Everyone is safe now. But I had my doubts about escaping lunch alive.

When I'm cruising the buffet line, looking for nummy nomnoms, the last thing in the effing world I want to see is something staring back up at me. Unless it's a funny scrambled egg and bacon face or something, but even then, it's a little daunting.

But as much as I don't enjoy adorable breakfast items staring up on me, I really, really, really don't enjoy running into shit like this:

Yeah, yeah, I know it's a Chinese restaurant. And yes, I know you see shit like this when sushi is involved. I enjoy sushi as much as the next person, really I do. But what the FUCK? I don't know what it is, but I hate it. It looked like those aliens from Independence Day had babies all over the frickin' salad bar when these bastards were on display.

You can't tell me they don't look alike. Look at their heads. 

Speaking of Independence day, Will Smith was in that movie. Although I haven't seen Mr. Smith encounter this grossness at a buffet, I did see his reaction to similar-looking aliens. I feel like he would back me up on this.

And actually, I found a clip of basically what went down today at lunch. Pretend I'm Will Smith, and Squiddly McFuckface, ruiner of lunches, is Frank.

Bon App├ętit, motherfuckers. I'm going to go purge and never think of this again.