Dentistry and Craigslist

I has a sad, my special snowflakes. :c

I've been having terrible, blinding, constant headaches for a couple weeks solid. Somehow, I went quite a while without connecting this to the gnawing pains I often have in my jaw/mouth/facehole region. Then one day, it hit me.

That's right, friends. A dreaded wisdom tooth.

So... I will be getting that extracted tomorrow morning at 9:00am. I am less than thrilled.

Don't get me wrong - I realize I will feel better. And I'll be happy to eventually not be in pain. But I am not looking forward to the disgusting recovery process. And frankly - I'm ready to just feel good again. I've been sick with bronchitis, and strep throat, and bronchitis, and fucking bronchitis, and this and that for months, and this is the fancy glass topper on my 3-layered shitcake. Walking around feeling less than my best for this long has turned me into a veritable rage volcano, one sore throat away from destroying all of your fucking villages.

My anger, self-pity and nerves regarding my stupid oral stupid tooth fuckface extraction fuckfuckfuckaofasdfjkl;;kljpoijuhaoii tomorrow were pretty prominent today. To cope with these emotions, I did what any self-respecting adult would do. I decided to troll Craigslist for a bit.

I didn't have to look far to find the perfect candidate for some internet lovin'.

Apparently, in Indiana, "stole my hat" actually equals "I'm an irresponsible hat owner."

Chances are, if you've read my blog for any length of time, we're brain-compatible enough for me to not have to list all of the things wrong with this dude's post.

Typically, I do not stoop to anyone's level and make genuine comments or jokes about chronic illnesses like cancer. I know it's not funny, and I know most of us, myself included, have been affected by it. But I really wanted to get this dude's attention. It was a 50/50 shot in my mind, as to whether or not he'd buy it.

Upon submitting this post, I didn't really expect any reply, other than for him to call my bluff and wish for me to get rickets or some shit. So you can imagine my surprise when - not even to Craigslist, but to my actual CL email inbox- I received a reply!

Well, this doesn't fit in the margins at all, does it?

I should have just been proud of him for backing down, being (somewhat) humble, and being willing to apologize. But you forget - I'm a fucking rage volcano today. (Not to mention, I didn't actually have this dude's hat.) So I replied on CL, letting him know I didn't have his hat, and posted a lovely trollface for him as a parting gift.

Apparently, this was amusing to other people on Craigslist, as others began to post their own replies to him, claiming to have his hat. The nerve! That was my idea. :c

Not to be outdone...

The picture, enlarged for you:

Swiper, no swiping! Also, get out of the middle of Jordan Street!

So that's how I spent my afternoon... trolling Craigslist, like an asshole grade school kid with too much internets and not enough hugs or discipline. I'm a little ashamed... but mostly, I'm a fucking volcano. I think I mentioned that.

Anyway, wish me luck in my adventures in voluntary toothslaughter tomorrow morning. : \

Oh, and sorry about the pictures being all crazy and not really fitting nice and neatly into the allotted space. I'm too impatient to fix it.


I'm a Firework!

Sometimes when I get a little blue, I like to listen to happy, motivational, feel-good songs to help me snap out of it.

I have been a little blue lately.

As such, I've decided self-indulge, draw myself a little buddy, and give myself a pep talk. You're welcome to tag along, if you'd like a pep talk, too!

By the way, we're doing this Katie Perry style!

Queue the music!

There. I feel better already. =)




Quick FYI - I will be participating in the internet boycott tomorrow to the best of my ability. In other words, I'd like to have it redirect to a blank page, but I'm not sure how to make that work using Blogger. At the very least, access to my blog will be restricted between midnight tonight and Thursday.

I encourage all of my blog buddies, and anyone with any sort of website, to follow suit.


What the... no. No! NO!!!!

Don't let the title scare you. Everyone is safe now. But I had my doubts about escaping lunch alive.

When I'm cruising the buffet line, looking for nummy nomnoms, the last thing in the effing world I want to see is something staring back up at me. Unless it's a funny scrambled egg and bacon face or something, but even then, it's a little daunting.

But as much as I don't enjoy adorable breakfast items staring up on me, I really, really, really don't enjoy running into shit like this:

Yeah, yeah, I know it's a Chinese restaurant. And yes, I know you see shit like this when sushi is involved. I enjoy sushi as much as the next person, really I do. But what the FUCK? I don't know what it is, but I hate it. It looked like those aliens from Independence Day had babies all over the frickin' salad bar when these bastards were on display.

You can't tell me they don't look alike. Look at their heads. 

Speaking of Independence day, Will Smith was in that movie. Although I haven't seen Mr. Smith encounter this grossness at a buffet, I did see his reaction to similar-looking aliens. I feel like he would back me up on this.

And actually, I found a clip of basically what went down today at lunch. Pretend I'm Will Smith, and Squiddly McFuckface, ruiner of lunches, is Frank.

Bon App├ętit, motherfuckers. I'm going to go purge and never think of this again.



Memeloaf: (noun) Literal interpretations and/or any type of mockery of Meatloaf lyrics. 





Back to Basics

Salutations, my sweet ducklings! Happy 2012!

Sorry. I've had a lot of caffeine today.

I've also had a lot of time away from the wonderful world of blogging. (Well, a couple weeks, anyway.)

It occurred to me over my extended leave that I hadn't really done an actual radar post in a while. Since I've dubbed myself Meteoroflgy... I feel like perhaps one of my resolutions should be to revisit my roots a little more often.

I mean.. some of you who didn't discover me until recently might have not even seen any of this alleged "radar repartee" as of yet, and secretly think I'm a liar. I'm not a liar, I swear. I'm just lazy, and possibly narcissistic. It's just easier to draw stupid pictures of myself or of computers, or talk about my precious kitten, or bore you with tales of my holiday adventures.

But, I've heard from at least a couple of you that you miss it. So I'll try to pay attention to your needs a little bit more. I'll bring back those wacky radars as frequently as my brain and weather permit, with all of the integrity and enthusiasm of a used car salesman.

Actually, I hope I've mentioned this before, but should you ever look at a radar and think to yourselves, "I betcha that crazy ol' Amanda K could do something with it," you're welcome to send it my way! I can't guarantee it'll make it on the blog, but I can't guarantee that it won't, either!

For example, my friend Katie recently sent me this screen shot, with the note, "I am sure you'll see something."

On the one hand, I don't want to disappoint my friends. On the other... quite frankly, I didn't see anything about a circle. Pressure mounted, but I was determined to make something out of this. I mean... when are you ever going to see another perfect circle like that on a radar? This might be the only time, and I can't see a damned thing! I am wasting this beautiful opportunity! Wasting it!

What would you have me do, Katie?! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?? I'm not Leonardo da Vinci! I can't give you the friggin' Sistine Chapel, here! Oooh, did Little Lord Fauntleroy expect the Mona Lisa? And that circle could just be her crazy, hot-pink, hipster monocle or something??

Fuck it.

That's right. It's a lopsided Mona Lisa in a hipster monocle. What of it?

---Interjection: Does anyone find it interesting that I can do a decent cartoon Mona Lisa, but can't draw a car to save my life?---

And no. I'm not linking the car post, because it still haunts me to this day. If laughing at my failure didn't bring joy to the masses, I'd totally delete that shit.

And I'm just kidding, Katie. I love it when you send me suggestions. I love it when anyone sends me anything! So seriously, if you have suggestions for what you'd like to see more of, or any screen shots you want me to desecrate, send them along! My contact info is up there in the tabs, somewhere.

Door's open, folks. Get on it. Because we've seen what happens when I'm left to my own devices.

I take perfectly innocent-looking things like this...

...and turn it into a snake chasing down a meth-smoking piglet.

Drugs are bad. Don't do them.

And fortunately for us all, I forgot to crop out those green bits behind the pig, so it looks like he has toxic farts as well. Perhaps that's his get-away plan.

Anyway, that's all I have for you today. I plan to have less time pass in between posts in the future. The holiday season was a little crazy, that's all.