I'm a creep


I have many redeeming qualities. And, like everyone, I have my flaws, too. But I also have these other... let's call them, "tendancies," to be, as the French would say, "weird as fuck."**
**I don't speak French. Leave me alone.

For example: Let's say you have an adorable kitten. And your friend says to you,


While some kind souls, like my sister, might see this request, and respond on my behalf by posting something adorable like this:


My typical reaction would be... something a little different.

Let's just say that if the last thing on your list of reactions to this request would be "photoshop Jennifer's face onto Mr. Biffles, making a terrifying cat-woman hybrid," then we are on two different wavelengths, my friend.


And, the close up:



No punchline. No explanation. It's literally, for whatever reason, the first thing that came to mind.

You got lucky, Jenniffles. Because if you're unfortunate enough to be acquainted with the likes of me on Facebook, and you're not careful, you could very well find yourself in an entire album like this:




And straight up, being careful can't even spare you. This came out of the blue for my friend Sara, and her cute pup Roscoe. I was just bored.



And I saw her pictures.



And I was feeling creative.



And by creative, I mean creepy as fuck.



For a couple days, she'd hear me giggling to myself. And she'd know it was time to go to Facebook, to see my latest abomination of her face and the things she loves. It's really summed up in the only comment on the album:



I don't act any more normal outside of photoshop, either. That said, I'm not entirely sure how I've survived 26 long years with any friends at all. But I did. (Hooray!) But make no mistake, friends: Even though I'm grateful for your loyalty, with great friendship comes great tolerance.



Thanks in advance.









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5 comments:

notanillusion said...

Your brain is an amazing, wonderful place.

mmesinclair said...

you're welcome,
eleanikki

s.ross said...

In your defense, nothing else really says, "Happy Birthday" like "I'm going to switch your face with your dog's face in all of your favorite photos."

The Vegetable Assassin said...

You see, this, in a nutshell, is a prime example of why drugs are bad, mmmmkay?

Yet, so SO good. :)

Andrea said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who sometimes has the urge to make creepy photoshop combinations. I have a small Facebook album of them. Granted, sometimes it's by request (a recent Cthulu-in-a-muumuu comes to mind), but I really have no excuse for Jimmy Carter-in-short-shorts...